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Life After Abuse: Rebuilding and Restarting to Live Your Best Life

By: Dana Brown,

Leaving an abusive relationship is traumatic. It can break down your confidence and sense of self-worth. But there are things you can do right now to create positive habits and change in your life so you can get back out there. Seeking therapy, regular meditation, exercise, staying connected with family and friends, and changing jobs can all help you move forward. Here are some pieces of advice.

Seek Therapy

You may be tending to physical injuries, but don’t forget to address your psychological wounds. Therapists have a totally fresh, clear mindset to evaluate your situation. They can help you process what’s going on and guide you through the darkness. Therapists can also provide strategies for coping with your fear, frustration, and stress.

These days, there are all kinds of ways to get therapy. One great option is going virtual. After a professional provides a (commonly free) consultation, you’ll meet via webcam and have sessions from home. It’s completely secure and saves you time and money on travel. For some, it’s superior to in-person therapy because you get to share your story from the comfort and safety of your own home.

If you have been the victim of someone with narcissistic personality disorder or if you feel that you may be a narcissist yourself, contact 3Cs Counseling Center for helpful resources and information to start you on your healing journey.

Photo via UnSplash

Meditate Regularly

Surviving trauma and PTSD go hand-in-hand. Meditation has been shown to help survivors manage feelings and change their way of thinking. So often, anxieties and fears can completely take over. It’s especially important in aiding intrusive thoughts and flashbacks.

Meditation allows you to make a complete stop, take deep breaths, and clear the clutter from your mind. You can practice anytime, anywhere, and for as long as you need to. Best of all, as Everyday Health notes, there are all different ways to meditate.


Incorporating more activity into your daily life is a big step in your recovery. A recently developed technique is called Tension and Trauma Release Exercises, or TRE. It uses the body’s natural reflex of tremoring to essentially shake off tension and calm the body. It’s adaptable for all body types and should ideally be done under the guidance of a professional.

But remember, you don’t have to get fancy. Get out there and go for a walk around the block each afternoon. Run around and play with the dog. Play tag with your kids. Whatever gets your muscles moving and heart rate up counts as exercise!

Stay Connected with Family and Friends

Maintaining your (healthy) relationships is key to your recovery. Sometimes, those relationships were damaged while you were in the clutches of your ex-partner. Succeed Socially provides that you can still repair them, but it may take time and patience. Remember that whatever happened, they were hurt too and may not be able to simply pick up where you left off.

Don’t be afraid to make new friends. Going to support groups is a great way to both nurture your healing and meet others who have been through the kinds of things you have. It’s extremely helpful to make friends who understand on a deeper level.

Change Jobs

You might have bad memories at your place of work, especially if your ex-partner ever made a scene there. Consider starting fresh by changing jobs. A new environment, new people, and perhaps closer to your home or child’s school — these can improve your life in multiple ways.

Make sure that during your job search, you don’t sell yourself short. Don’t downgrade to a position that’s below your skill and pay level. Hold onto your current job until you’ve found the right position and be assertive in negotiations. You deserve a job that’s worthy of you.

Alternatively, maybe it’s time you became your own boss by starting your own business! Running your own company is challenging, of course, but it gives you a great deal of freedom and might help you reach your full potential.

There are a number of decisions to make first, like what kind of business you’ll start, as well as your business’s structure. A limited liability company is a popular choice, due to its legal protections and tax benefits. Regulations can vary by location, though, so you might want to look into getting an online formation service that’s already familiar with how to start an LLC to help you.

Next, you’ll want to start by creating your free business cards using an online template. There are great sites that provide dozens of free options that you can customize to make fit your business and branding. Just print them and you’ll have something tangible to hand people as you network!

Find Your Ways to Restart

Your ex-partner may have destroyed many things, but you will rise above. Change your life now: seek therapy, meditate regularly, exercise daily, stay connected with loved ones, and consider switching to a new job. You can do this. Go for it.

About the Author

Dana Brown is the creator of, which aims to provide Internet users with helpful content and resources that will lead them to making healthier decisions. She has 15 years of caregiving experience, and after seeing some patterns of poor health she became determined to help inform people about healthy living.


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